Living At My Parents'

I don’t feel comfortable living at my parents.

Even though I’m often staying more than a month at the family house, they absolutely refuse to make me pay for rent or groceries. I try to help whenever I’m available, but except cooking and cleaning there isn’t much I can do since I’m always either working or taking breaks to exercise. 

I’m not under the impression I’m pulling my own weight and it makes me feel terrible, so I’m trying to find projects to help around: find a better internet provider, take care of the garden, grow vegetables…

I understand they are happy I’m nearby because they are getting old, but it’s not common for people my age to do that. Most of my friends are renting their first apartments, working 9-5 jobs, and some will probably start getting married. 

Instead, all I’m doing is working and saving money. It’s a smart financial move since I can work remotely, but I do feel a societal pressure to conform and move to a big city to live in an apartment and settle down.

It’s also not easy for me to deal with the generational gap between my parents and I. They are approaching their 70’s, while I just started the second half of my twenties.

I often find myself torn between two decisions: stay to focus on my work and do my best to help around the property, or leave and keep on living from one place to another with my independence. Both have pros and cons, even though my hands are currently tied by the pandemic.

I’ve lived with roommates before, but the situation is much different here. I don’t have my own space and my own time, everyone follows roughly the same schedule. Maybe we just need to put a little distance between us to make it less awkward for me. The terrain is big, there is room for an independent space I could rent. Even though they won’t accept my money, I can find a way to pay for some bills, or hand-build or fix things to make their lives easier and save up some money. There are plenty of opportunities, but I need to set aside time to be more proactive on a daily basis.